Getting a Groove

I think I can finally say I am getting my "groove", and now that I say that out loud, I will probably lose it! HA! The kids and I finally have some sort of routine down every day and we are making it through each day a little easier, and each day seems to come a little more naturally. I hate that this is all feeling a bit more normal, that just doesn't seem right to me, but it is what it is. Now that we have this routine down summer will be here and we will have to start all over- LOL!

The problem with routines though is that still in the back of your mind know that something is missing, and it takes a while to get over that feeling. I know for a long time after our son died I just kept feeling like something was missing, and it was him... sad as it is to say, it does get to feeling quite normal after a while. And it is starting to feel like that now with my husband gone, we are all getting into a routine without him, and I know he is settling quite nicely into his own bachelor life, which my feelings on that is for another post on another day.

So getting my groove back, I am getting a pretty solid 6 hours of sleep each night, dinner is being made almost every night (real dinner not cereal), chores are getting done by all of us, activities are being checked off, there has been less screaming at each other, and all in all things are settling down. Am I still feeling very alone, totally- but again- that is for me to figure out. Baby steps! For now I am happy for the accomplishments that the kids and I have done so far and the ones I have listed are huge in my opinion!

I know I can do this, even though some days (and nights) I really feel like I can't and I just want to bury my head in the sand, but I know in the end I can and will do this- on my own. I have amazing kids that keep me going every single day, that right there is enough in itself to keep me going.

So all in all for now this single mommy is getting her groove back.... did I ever have a groove in the first place? Who knows? I have one now though:)