Mom Scoreboard

I have had some EXCELLENT single mom moments this week, and I have to say I really feel like I am finally getting a handle on it. As I said before though, summer will now come and all my securities will probably be shot to heck... LOL

Score #1- Telling them who's boss....

I have had a really hard time finding the balance between I am the mom and I am the pushover when it comes to this divorce and the kids. When you are in this situation it is tricky because you really don't want what is happening between you and dad to affect them anymore then it already has. And in this regard the subject of chores has been a touchy issue in our house. My EX was very handy around the home and I really never had to do any of the "outside" stuff and the kids really had to do minimal. So after a few months of the outside getting pretty neglected I have had to enlist the kids to help out. And I immediately had this phrase thrown at me: "Why do we have to do extra chores when it is YOU AND DAD splitting up, its not our fault." Well, the mother in me, the protector in me, instantly said "You are right." But then the wise person that sometimes lives with in me spoke up.

No, its not their fault, and this situation sucks eggs big time, but the reality is this is our life now, and what favors would I be doing for them if I fed into that belief? So I sat them both down and told them just that. I told them it is awful that this is happening, its not fun that all of us have to pull extra weight- but here is the deal- you can take this situation and be mad and refuse to help and stomp your feet and say 'its not fair' your whole life, or you can take this situation and let it make you a better stronger person.

Score #2- Teenager Angst

My soon to be 14 year old boy was having some major attitude growing pains this past week, Thursday I believe. He was making life pretty miserable that morning and it was taking some serious constraint to keep it together on my end. When he walked out back to feed the dogs I followed him to the door and... I locked him out. Yes I did that... I had to diffuse the volatile situation we were quickly getting into. He stared at me through the glass and was less then pleased.. I told him "change your tude and tell me I am the best mom ever and I will let you in." Well, long story short the whole situation got him laughing, he told me the words I needed to hear, he was allowed back in the house and the situation was so much calmer and handled in a much nicer way.

Score #3- Slave Day

Back to referencing Score #1, we had some major work to do around this house. So this past Saturday I rallied the troops, gave them another brief reminder of what we talked about earlier in the week and as a family of 3 we got the outside and inside of the house looking pretty amazing. Oh don't get me wrong, there was complaining, and I had to use a water bottle to get them out of bed. But in the end we all pulled together and did it.

Score #4 - Validation

It is no secret that I feel like I am doing everything wrong in the single mom life, that I honestly feel that between the death of their brother and the divorce of their parents my kids are pretty screwed. I feel like my soon to be teenage daughter and I fight ALL the time, I feel broken and weak, and I feel like I am just not coping. Well, this week at Open House in my daughters classroom these words were in front of me that my daughter wrote "My greatest hero is my mom." Yep, I cried like a flipping baby right there in the 6th grade classroom. I realized right then and there that no matter what, I am an example to my kids, and they are watching me always.

FINAL SCORE- KIDS 0 MOM 4

Yeah I am feeling pretty good right now, so bring on that summer vacation because I have some tricks up my sleeve I can't wait to use and judging by the scoreboard, I think I will rock this.