The Little Things

Never in my life would I realize how much I took for granted. Seriously- like sleeping through the night, yard work that I never had to do, light bulbs being changed, the garage trash being taken out, and the list goes on and on. Now don't think I was an ungrateful wife, but there were some things that he just did- like change the burned out light bulbs, and take out the trash in the garage (because really how often do I spend time in the garage?), and my most favorite- deal with the dang dogs at night.

For the first time in over 4 weeks I actually slept a solid 8 hours with zero interruptions, when I woke up at 6:30 I was in shock. Ever since he left 2 of our 3 dogs have kept me up and down all night long- my mom swears they are looking for him, I personally think they have minds like children and just wanted to see how fast they could drive me insane. But it wasn't just the dogs that kept me up, it was the heart racing fear of how I was going to do all of this alone, the deep sadness of being hurt, the awful anger, and most of all the wondering of why and how this went so wrong.

But last night I felt a tiredness that I thought I would never feel again without the aid of a sleeping pill, I crawled into my bed, fell asleep almost instantly (no heart racing anxiety!), and didn't wake up until 6:30am- all was quiet in the house.. and I took a deep breath.

As soon as I awoke that song that has the lyrics "this is where the healing begins" ran through my head, and I honestly felt like maybe just maybe the healing has started, getting proper rest is the first obstacle in this long journey. Changing out light bulbs and garage trash cans? No problem- I've got this... I never doubted that I would do fine with any of this... just am pretty sad that I have to. But in the end it will be ok- I will start the healing process (already have) and each day I will get stronger and each day I will realize I have strength and resolve I didn't have before.

With this new found 8 hours of sleep behind me today, I feel like I can take on the world- but first I will start with church- I have been missing being fed by my God and since he was so kind to bless me with such a great nights sleep- I feel inclined to return the favor today by blessing him with my thankfulness and love.

Have a great Sunday my friends- and remember "those who wait upon The Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings of eagles" Isaiah 40:31